Bunny Waffles

The General Public

The woman in the public toilets with the gold teeth was freaking me out. She wore Christmas leggings and large hoop earrings, and as she scratched her crotch, her lanky blonde hair wobbled a bit. She leaned over the sink and leered at me… or she might have just smiled. I just wasn’t sure… I was almost convinced I was going to be molested. The Christmas leggings were putting me on edge.

‘You know what, love? You know what? Nothing…’ – she paused dramatically for effect, though she might have just been passing wind, ‘… nothing beats a day-old chocolate given as a d-delicate gift from the fellows at the curry house from the night before’.

She shoved something in her mouth. I hoped it was chocolate.

‘Plus, I didn’t know what a trench coat was until I worked at Marks and Spencer’, she added casually. Then she sniffed and scratched her crotch some more, and then she was gone… I could have breathed a sigh of relief had the air not been full of the glamorous scent of urine.

I tend to fear the general public. Especially the ones with the Christmas leggings.

This entry was published on 08/10/2012 at 00:01. It’s filed under Comics and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

6 thoughts on “The General Public

  1. I hope this is a fantasy, but I’m thinken not, Lol



    • I made this a few months ago, a few days after it happened- some strange woman accosted me in the toilets on a night out. It was forgivable, but only because it was highly hilarious. I am still dealing with the mental scars to this day.


    • I’ve ran into some scary woman myself, especially when I was a kid… Had some lady hold me underwater at a public pool, saying she would do so until I gave her a kiss… I never gave her that kiss, Lol

      Ironically, I’ve had a couple scary situations with water, and two of them were with woman holding me underwater… The second incident was when I was a bit older, my step brother’s friend’s 100% German Mother, decided she was going to teach me how to open my eyes underwater by holding me under until I did… Lovely, Lol

      The last incident wasn’t with a woman, it was just me on what’s called a boogey board (not sure if it’s an international name, but it’s basically a 4 to 5 foot board, not sure what it’s made of… some kind of thick, flexible foam)… Anyway, I was using the boogey board in the ocean, and there were waves after waves, and finally I got knocked underwater… Everytime I tried to come up, another wave would hit me… Before I knew it, I was underwater, and didn’t know which way was up… I finally opened my eyes, and all I could see was dirt, and I couldn’t feel the bottom… I literally hit a point where I figured it was over, and suddenly I smacked against the bottom, and had been washed ashore.

      So yeah, I’ve had a few creepy woman situations, and a few traumatic water situations, Lol Arghh, to be young

      I’m glad you’re ok… To be honest, I can’t imagine what it would be like to be a young girl in this world… It’s gotta be scarier than being a guy… Just because people really seem to mess with young girls.



    • Oh my God, that is so terrifying! That woman who wanted you to kiss her sounds mentally unwell- you should have kicked her in the ovaries and ran away screaming.

      We know what boogey boards are over here, although I can’t say I’ve ever used one myself! Firstly, kudos for even doing it; secondly, reading your story made me feel all breathless, I can’t even imagine how awful that was. I’ve only had one sort of ‘drowning’ experience, which was when I was a kid, but that was only in a swimming pool. I don’t really go swimming nowadays- I’m sure I still enjoy it, I just don’t like being virtually naked in front of people D:


  2. Bitchez be crayzé.


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