Bunny Waffles

Love and Such

Yesterday marked an anniversary between Terry and I, of another year that had passed with us still managing not to strangle each other to death. We thought it might have been the five-year mark, but couldn’t quite remember, and so instead passed the time by eating tuna steak and drinking copious amounts of cocktails. Or I did anyway, and it was rather wonderful. I bought him bacon soap and he bought me a necklace depicting a panda sat inside a cupcake… and then we came home, and I fell asleep from 19:30 to 06:00, when I promptly got up and got ready for work. Romance certainly isn’t dead… it’s just sleeping for an extensive amount of time.

To celebrate I thought I’d share some pictures of the two of us. For five (or so) years, we don’t really seem to have that many, and we weren’t able to take any photos of us both together during our meal yesterday without them ending up either blurred, or having too much of the underside of the table in show; so instead these are a select few pictures from our time together that span the years and the entirety of our relationship.

From the day we met, at my Uncle’s wedding reception; me in my red velvet dress, and you in your shoes with skulls on- to right at this very moment, sat in our home; me on the laptop typing away and trying not to go to sleep again, and you draped on the sofa which we’ve covered in a pink sheet to stop our arses from sticking to the leather, watching football- you’ve made such an impact on my life that I could never imagine being away from you. I might have to go to upstairs to sleep before you because you annoy me if I have to hear you breathing… but it’s always wonderful to wake up and know you’re there. And I’m sure that all the whining and random flailing/dancing in the kitchen might just have made you want to slit my throat once or twice, but the fact that you haven’t shows how much you love me. And I love you, I hope you can feel just how much in the very depths of your bones.

And so ladies and gentlemen to the pictures… there aren’t many, but just knowing that he’ll tolerate being in a photo next to my lopsided face just means the world.

Berlin, our first holiday.
It’s good to start off a little risque.

Unbearably blurred, the axe covered in red
This was the day I severed your head

Jeremy Kyle! We’re on freaking TV!
We don’t stand out much, eh, you and me.

Slightly drunk perhaps, sat on the bus
A memorable night, a bit of a fuss.

A loving embrace under the Derbyshire sun
In moments the whole day was done

Your sister’s wedding, a happy time
My hat looks awesome! (that’s the rhyme)

Most awkward thing ever to take on a train
The five hour journey was a bit of a pain.

A wonderful gathering, with those noisy party tubes
My tights under this dress came up to my boobs.

A casual night out in an eyeball dress
But the prettiest thing is your face, I must stress

I look a bit derpy, it is very true
But I am quite ridiculously in love with you.

This says it all, really, there’s so much to fear
I hope we can do this again all next year.

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This entry was published on August 20, 2012 at 19:54. It’s filed under My Bitches are Leaking Romance and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

9 thoughts on “Love and Such

  1. Wow, you guys have been together for a while… Since the age of 5 I had always longed to meet “The One”… But alas, I’ve been in Love 4 Times, Lol

    My First lasted 8 years, when it should have lasted 4, Lol… We always Loved one another, but weren’t always in Love… Well I was off doing a Production of Hamlet, she was home Writing Letters to a Scottish Bloke as it turned out, Lol… That’s how that one ended.

    But alas, I was Free, and that’s when I started to Pursue Music, and Film Making, and Screenplay Writing… Things she was never supportive of me doing…

    But sadly 3 months after we separated, wayyy too soon to get into another relationship, my best friend from work, who had just left a 5 year marriage, and I ended up getting together… As it ended up we were both in Love with one another, Lol… Who knew… We were both so Honorable, that neither of us let on until we were both available…

    Anyway, that lasted for maybe 4 Months of Bliss, then it was back to the Husband for her, Lol… Then back to me… Then back to him… You get the drift… It basically toar me to pieces, and I had no one to blame. I had nightmares about her for a year following, Lol… But I did Write a lot of good Emotional Rock Songs for My Band, Lol

    It wasn’t until about 18 Months later that I meant My Next Love… Oh, and by the way, it was Love at First Site for me with My First, and My Third… And so it does exist, Lol… And I’m not just talken “Lust”… I’m talken Love, Lol

    Anyway, I actually met my Third Love on a Firday the 13th Muhaha! Lol

    She was a Dark Lovely one, in fact she was indeed wearing All Black the night when I met her… And had Dark Hair, and Brown Eyes…

    One Year, One Day Later, we got Married, Lol

    Never saw that coming… But in a nutshell, we were about to move in together, and she suddenly became petrified of what her Mom and Dad would think… And thus, we got engaged… Maybe not the right reason to get engaged… But, we definitely were in love, and figured we’d get married someday anyway…

    It was an Amazing what I call “Fairy/Chinese” Wedding… Nothing too expensive, but the Theme was kind of like a Fairy… And the Food that we served was from the Chinese Restaurant that we went to on our First Date… So the whole thing came out rather cool/bad a$$

    Sadly one year and one day later once again, we separated… Neither were of us were doing very well personally… It didn’t really have to do with us… She was basically having an Identity Crisis, and I was having issues of my own.

    My heart wasn’t Crushed like the 2nd Love, as the night I had met the 3rd, I had, had an Epiphany ironically, and said to myself as I walked under a Full Moon Sky “Perhaps I will have to do this Life and Dreams Thing Alone”… Ironically, I met the girl I ended up Marrying like 30 minutes later, Lol… But, like I say, when we parted, I was in a much better place than I was when I lost the 2nd.

    Two months after she left, I actually ended up in the hospital with some medical issues, and that kind of changed my perspective about life as well…

    I’m fine now physically, but I went through some emotional trauma back then that makes me a bit more susceptible to anxiety, sadly… I deal with it as best I can.

    But it wasn’t for another 3 + years that I finally met my 4th Love… I actually met her on a video game, Lol… “World of Warcraft”, Lol… She was A Priest, and I was a Paladin… It was a Relationship Made In… Er… World of Warcraft, Ha

    Whenever people ever asked where we met, I would simply say “We met on a Boat”, Lol… Which was true… But the boat was in the game, Lol

    I, unlike most males, asked her for directions to a flight path… I have to admit, in a game full of characters jumping up and down trying to get attention… She stood out… As during our boat ride, she sat perfectly still, Lol

    Anyway, had a long distance relationship for like 9 or 10 months (she was in Florida, I was in Southern California), then she moved to Northern California where she had gotten a job… Then she would come to see me every 2 or 3 weeks, and for a week or two during the holidays… It was both cool, and hard.

    And so after being together for 3 years, I moved up north, and we lived together for a year and a half… Then broke up, Lol

    Oh well, Lol

    Here’s a Picture of us http://darkjade68.wordpress.com/?p=9070&preview=true

    And here’s a Picture of the Girl I married http://darkjade68.wordpress.com/?p=9070&preview=true I don’t have any of us on a computer… Love this shot of her though, it might have been taken after we were apart

    Long Reply, you were sharing, so I thought I would share back, Lol

    Gratz on your Aniversary… Love is Grand, and I mean that… I still Love all four of the Girls I’ve been with… Though it’s likely we will reunite, Lol… Perhaps there’s a 5th out there for me somewhere

    DJ-

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  2. *this should have been the first link http://darkjade68.wordpress.com/?p=9075&preview=true

    **it’s ‘not’ likely we will reunite, Lol

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    • Hi DarkJade, thanks so much for sharing your story here- it’s a cliche indeed, but it is true that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. If someone could love you so much at one time, then someone can love you again 🙂 We gain so much from our experiences with other people, and though the feeling of loss can at times be unbearable, it’s those sad parts of life that make the happier bits seem even more wonderful. I’ve never really believed in love at first sight, though I’ve been told it does exist. My own experiences though of taking people at face-value have sometimes been a little… scary. You can’t judge a book by it’s cover, because even the prettiest velvet can cover up some seriously sickening shit (huzzah alliiteration!).

      I am sorry to hear about your anxiety, I suffer from it a great deal too. But I think you’re fantastic, a glorious writer and a lovely friend- and you should have so much confidence in yourself, in life and in relationships, because you are such a great guy!

      I wasn’t able to look at your pictures as they say ‘Page not Found’- but it must be a good thing that you’re still good enough friends with the girl you married to still share photographs 🙂 We make all these connections in life and some of them will stay with us forever.

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    • The “Love at First Sight” is a certain kind of thing… Because Love, largely, can only be so strong initially… I’d say that I had a deep connection with two of them right off the bat, and thus, felt love for them… But love that builds over time is much more substantial…

      Thank you for your encouraging words, for me the anxiety isn’t so much confidence related… It’s more of a “Flight or Fight” thing… The trauma caused a “Flight” kind of thing… Like, the want or desire to leave my own body… Which in turns creates the anxiety… The thing is, sometimes when I go out, I’ll just be out and about, and suddenly have the “Flight” instinct come up, and some part of me emotionally then leaves my body, which creates the Anxiety… That’s the best I can explain it… But basically, you have to retrain yourself not to have the “Flight” instinct when in fact there is no danger, yah know

      For me “Exposure” therapy seems to have worked the best… And I only call it that, as it’s the only term that seems to capture how I’ve dealt with it… When I was with my last girlfriend, I went out much more than I do now… And the more I went out, the less it seemed to happen.

      The thing is, I’ve always been a sensitive guy… Or kid at least… I was extremely shy, extremely empathetic, and really didn’t mind being home… But in my Teens I did Theater for several years, which kind of made me a bit more social… The truth is, I like people… I know a lot of people don’t initially… Part of it might be my optimistic personality… Though as I got older, I am a blend of an optimist, and realist I think… But I doubt I’ll ever be a pessimist… It’s just not me. When I was younger, I got more blind sided by my optimism, and like you said, some of the people I dated did end up being not so great… But none of the People that I loved, and mentioned above.

      Though they all had their own issues, we all do, I pretty much knew them up front, and gave it a go anyway, yah know…

      Sadly, though I shared my ex wife’s photo, we’re not exactly friends anymore… After she left, she was mean at first, I think because she felt guilty about leaving… But I stuck that period out, because she never had been when we were together, and I was ok with us not being together, but I wasn’t all that keen on us being enemies… After a hand full of months, she stopped being mean, and would just call once every 3 weeks or so and read me some of her poetry… Or tell me about her dating escapades, Lol… Or in some cases, call to have me on the phone as she walked home at night, or in a scary area… As she didn’t drive.

      Sadly, her behavior started to get darker and darker… Not with me, but socially… And she tampered in some drugs (beyond pot), and kinds of became a bit… Off kilter I guess… It was about that time that I met someone, and as you might suspect, the idea of me being friends with my ex wife wasn’t all that appealing to her, Lol… But in truth, my ex was entering a dark time I suspect… Anyway, I sadly wasn’t able to to maintain contact with her.

      I remember there was just one call that I didn’t reply to from her… And that’s all it took, she never called again. Life is complicated…

      Anyway, after my last girlfriend and I broke up, I actually contacted my ex wife, just because I’d always wondered, and worried if she was ok…

      She actually replied to an e-mail, and had moved to Japan… And seemed to be doing pretty good… I told her I was actually just glad that she was alive, as these are the kinds of things you sometimes worry about in regards to people you used to be with, or love…

      She didn’t reply for a long time after that, then when she did, she wrote a wallop of an e-mail… Bottom line, she blamed me for us ever getting married (though we were only married a year, and only did it cuz she was worried about her parents being upset at us for moving in together, a not being engaged or married… She seemed to have forgotten that, Lol)

      And basically said, that beyond a Christmas card etc, she really didn’t want to try to pick up where we left off in the friend department. I had also said to her in an earlier e-mail that I’d like to be friends again.

      I think part of it was she was pissed that I disappeared when I got into a relationship… But the truth is, not every person on the planet is ok with their mate communicating with their exs… And though it toar me apart at the time to stop calling her back, it seemed like the logical way to give my new relationship a decent go. It’s not a perfect world after all.

      Anyway, I thought we had moved beyond all the “Marriage” blame, but apparently she had convinced herself of a fairly fictionish tale, where I was the big bad “marry me” monster, Ha… Which of course I wasn’t… I had only known her a year when we got married… I would have never have rushed that.

      But, after that bombshell of an e-mail, which hit me even harder because I was only a couple months removed from my last break up, I just decided to leave her alone… And didn’t reply.

      Several months later she saw me on gmail, and messaged me saying that she may have been a bit harsh, Lol

      I said no worries, and we went on to messaging for like 4+ hours… Which I feel actually healed our “Post Sitch” maybe 40%… So that was good… But we haven’t had any contact since… I still miss having her as a friend… But I really think she’s just trying to move on with her life in general… I mean, it’s not everyone that ups and moves to Japan, Lol

      And I don’t mean she did that because of me… Probably the main reason she did that is, her mom is nuts, Ha

      Nah, we dated a year, and were married for a year… Our relationship wasn’t all that long… But, the connection is deeper for her than any other, because we got married, I will tell you that… And I frequently feel the missing ring from my finger… Even now, 10 years after we separated.

      ANOTHER HUGE REPLY, LUCKY YOU!! Lol

      You are a Brilliant Writer, and a Deep and Beautiful Heart yourself… So right back at you…

      DJ-

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    • I have the same anxiety problem too I sometimes panic just sitting on the bus! That really is a very comprehensive story… I’m glad you were able to find out that she was still alive- I think we all think the same about people that we used to share a part of our lives with, even if we didn’t quite get married to them. I guess that’s just human nature, and at least now you are able to talk of these experiences in a reflective way- it’s something which has changed you, and something which will serve as a background to the rest of your life, you’ve been able to gain some experience and strength from this, and that’s an important thing to take away.

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  3. Happy anniversary! I won’t write a novel like James has done above, because I’m a man of few words.

    I can’t imagine being with someone for five years, that’s only because I haven’t met the right person yet though. I like to get em Jackhammered, get em paid, get em out. But who knows, maybe someone who isn’t a bitch *cough*myex*cough* will come along.

    P.S. Your boyfriend looks like the type of man I’d like to pass out next to after a heavy night of boozing.

    P.P.S. Jeremy Kyle FTW~!

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    • It doesn’t feel like five years! I am sure you will find that someone- maybe when out one night, having a few drinks, or on a sunny day when slitting a homeless man’s throat with his own shoe. And I mentioned to Terry that you said you’d like to pass out next to him- and I also added that he might get molested and he looked very terrified, in an accepting kind of way. It’s sorted then.

      And Jezza was awesome, but he was a bit of a dick. It was a magical day, he told Terry to ‘get a job’ that didn’t involve being a musician, and compared me to Alice Cooper. Backhanded compliments are the best kind of compliments, especially as Terry sells kitchen appliances, and I have boobs coming out of my chest.

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    • So does Alice Cooper haha! You should have told him to get a proper job that didn’t involve shouting at chavs! Terry may be terrified at first, but after awhile, he’ll come to enjoy it. They always do mwahaha.

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    • I should have done! He also asked me what my favourite band was, to which I naturally replied, ‘Every Time I Die’. At which point he began asking each and every member of his TV team if they’d heard of them, and when no-one had, he looked at me with a little bit of disgust. Totally worth the two trains it took to get there! 😀

      I’m sure Terry will eventually come round to you attempting to molest him, I give him my permission to succumb.

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