An itch on the surface is easily fixed. But an itch on the inside? That is more difficult to solve. A paradoxical itch without a scratch! What can you do? What. Can. You. Do?
Well, ladies and gentlemen, we at the TCTIIMCSTDSA: The Crazy and Totally Implausible Institution for Medical Crap and Stuff who also Think Dinosaurs are like Super Awesome, have created something to help you! Introducing the Itch Chisel! Only for £307.98! Simply swallow the chisel and your stomach will churn it around and will probably get rid of your itch. Probably.
Side effects may include choking, stomach rupture, herpes and death.
Also, the TCTIIMCSTDSA might not exist. Also, I am just a homeless man with a chisel.